Relationship Burdens

Some relationships can cloud our lives in ways we don’t immediately notice. 

This scripture fills me with hope. It reminds me that He is my strength. That He will lead me to a renewed life.  He WILL revive me. God reminds us that He desires wholeness for us. He wants us to live fully and boldly and not in paralyzing pain of toxic relationships.

             "He restores my soul, he leads me in the paths of 
              righteousness for his name's sake."  Psalm 23:3

My Hidden Burden 

I think we can find ourselves in relationships that are not good for our souls. I know this was where I found myself. Because I was trying to protect my ex’s image. I wanted others to believe our family was whole, that my ex was a good husband and a good father. And, I didn’t want anyone to find out the truth. I thought the I was shielding my children, but in reality I was causing them more harm.

I didn’t want them to see my pain, thinking it would protect them. Do to my past and current live at that time, I lived with so much shame and guilt.  Guilt that I wasn’t enough for him or anyone. Shame for the person I found myself to be in these circumstances. My pain was paralyzing my thoughts and keeping me small. I wasn’t the mom I had always dreamt of being. I was consumed with trying to be better from my ex so he’d love me. The stress of keeping up appearances was taking its toll on me and my children.

I was striving to keep the “perfect” home. What I should have been doing was playing with my boys. Giving them the love and attention they deserved.  My love for my children has always overwhelmed me with such pride and awe, but due to the circumstances of our lives I failed to show them that well during those years.  

The Cost of Pretending

As I look back I have learned that our value isn’t determined by how much we endure. It’s in how we rise, how we listen to God’s call. And how we trust Him to lead us to the right path. Sometimes this can take a while to learn and walk out. In the middle of the enduring we lose sight of ourselves. We become someone we don’t recognize. We loose sight of our dreams, hopes and passions. When this happens, we can find ourselves consumed with negative thoughts, emotions and a feeling of hopelessness. We focus more and more attention on the thing or person who is draining us dry because we are striving for normalcy.And all we yearn for is to be seen and loved. In these times, we can lose faith.

Are You Feeling Small? 

Do you feel as if no one notices your pain or sees your struggles? Do you find yourself in a toxic relationships that makes you feel unseen, unheard or unimportant? 

Please hear me, you are NOT small. God designed you just the way you are on purpose. 

         "You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 138:14

Move Forward to Your Purpose

Is there a small voice in your heart urging you to move away from this relationship? That voice is God gently nudging you to remind you of the freedom and healing that is ahead.

A quote I heard struck me recently: “The thing you were made for is just dormant in your life”. 

Your purpose has been within you all along. It just hasn’t emerged yet. Don’t let it remain dormant. Don’t let your unhealthy relationships keep it hidden. Step into your passion, God’s calling on your life. Not everyone will agree or lean into it but that’s okay, it isn’t for them.

Embrace Healing

Finding freedom from toxic relationships doesn’t happen quickly. Surround yourself with people who speak life into you. Also, know that there could be a season where it is just you and God. That is His grace for you, so you can heal. Take this time to give yourself grace, take time to reflect heal ad rediscover yourself. 

This won’t be easy, true healing never is. You have within you the courage to do the work. Allow yourself to lean into the pain, in it you will find strength and clarity.  Just this past weekend God gave me an opportunity to lean into healing for my soul through Sunday’s sermon, all I heard was release your shame.

Trust God for your Future

If you are in a toxic relationship that dims your light, hear this: God’s plan for your life is one of abundance, joy and purpose. Trust Him and lean into the path He has ahead for you. Rediscover the vibrant life you were created for. Your story isn’t over.