Embrace vulnerability

Today I took a step I never imagined I would take; I signed up for eHarmony. It feels exciting and terrifying all at once. I have hesitated on re-entering the dating world, but now I feel ready. Not just ready for a relationship, but for the kind of relationship that will honor my faith and the dreams God has place in my heart.

This new world of online dating is so foreign to me. At my age, though, there are not as many transitional opportunities to meet new people. Still, I know and trust that God has a plan. I know and trust God has been molding the man for me into who He desires him to me, all while do that for me as well.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11

The past five years have been a journey of growth and transformation for me. I thank the Lord for the work He. has done in me through healing, strengthening and preparing me for what is ahead. As I step into 2025, I want to embrace growth, adventure and the possibility of godly love.

I will be honest, my heart carries some scars. I have built walls to protect myself, but I don’t want those walls to block the beauty of what God has planned. I want to be open to love that’s designed by Him, even if it means stepping into the unknown.

I look at the relationships of my friends and my son and I find my heart feeling a mix of gratitude and longing. If I am totally honest, sometimes there is a hint of jealousy as well. I have always dreamed of being truly loved for who I am, just as God made me. But in the past, love often felt like an endless effort to be “enough” for someone. Too sensitive, too much, not enough, those lies have echoed in my heart for too long.

But I know the truth now. I AM enough. God made me caring, loving and selfless. I have spent too many years bending to meet others’ expectations, afraid of losing their love. But real love, true, godly love, doesn’t hinge on what we do or don’t do, it’s unconditional.

We aren’t meant to be everything for each other. Only God can fill the deepest needs of the heart. As fallen people in a broken world, we can love others deeply, but we must also grow and allow God to refine us into who He’s called us to be.

I am learning to let go of the lies and doubts that have held me back. I want to live in the freedom and confidence that comes from knowing who I am in Christ.

If you are struggling with these feelings as well, I pray that you will find freedom and confidence in the Lord. Together, we can walk this road of growth and faith, trusting that God is leading us to something beautiful.